The players
take by Don Rockell
The Waltham St Lawrence Sunday Social match started
in the air of good humour and fun as this type of match
should be played with both sides giving good hearted
banter thoughout.
The Cricket club Team was first
in to bat with much ‘off the field’ barracking from
the PA system, mostly from their own team mates and
the occasional attempt at musical humour.
Openers Matt Conner and Paul Harris played
it cool and eased themselves into the game and despite
the odd comment from the sidelines they refused to be
hurried against the Social Members opening bowlers and
a pitch which gave very little bounce to the ball they
held out for 5 straight maidens before giving in to
the pressure and going on to build a steady opening
partnership of 33 runs before Harris was out caught
by the’ Delhi Demon ‘off ‘The Swingers’ Bowling for
19. This brought Woodford in and again after a short
delay Woodford soon began to open up and increase the
run rate from the 1.3 and falling up to nearly 4 runs
an over before he was finally out LBW from Geeze on
20, this may have been in part due to the comments made
from the spectators about his shooting exploits.
Conner staying cool and steady
in the middle was joined by Dan Owen and was then given
out LBW off the bowing of Geeze in the next over
The innings now over half way
though brought the paring of Own and England, Owen was
undeterred by low score and recent quick fall of wickets
and wasted no time piling on another 2 runs to the score
before being caught out by Steve the Star off the Bowling
of the Earl of the West End.
Ziggyi Kiani then confidently
strode in to bat and with England.
The Partnership started well before England skied at
ball leaving an easy catch but London dropped England
who then went on to build the best partnership of the
innings putting 43 runs on the board before Ziggy
was caught LBW off the bowling of The Exile for 20 runs
Rockell came in to the cease
and agreed with England that the run rate was still
too low and needed to be increased to give team a chance
against the Social Members and together they put on
a Partnership of 23 with England doing most of work
while Rockell flapped at few balls before being Bowled
out by the Delhi Demon for 4 swinging though fresh air
at a medium paced ball.
Colin Parker entered the fray
and put a steady 2 on the board before being bowed again
by the Delhi Demon for 2 (The Demon was living up to
his name, causing havoc in ranks of the Club team)
Savva then joined England in
the middle for a short spell before England fell to
superb caught and bowled by Geeze and so he finally
left the field after batting up the best Score of the
Innings making 42 off 55 balls and sharing 5 partnerships
.
Taz Ghulam came in to play to make the final pairing
and batting out to the end of the Innings with Salvau
each putting 2 runs on the board and both leaving ‘Not
Out’ at the end.
After tea and with the crowd
growing to the largest seen at any recent match, topping
nearly 50 if you include the up and coming youth members
the Club
Team took the field to defend their hard won score of
175 for 8.
Opening for the Social Members Bombay Jock
and The Fuzz (spelt The Fizz on their team sheet) faced
the daunting sight of the massed ranks of 6 Club members
in the slips. To show no fear Bombay Jock faced the
first ball and attacked the fielders who barely flinched
as the ball edged for 2 through their ranks. Undeterred
Harris kept the same fielding and pressed on to take
the Fuzz bowled out for 3 in his second over.
Not to outdone and to show
that he can shoot straight Woolford Bowled to the Bombay
Jock fooling him into giving up his wicket to the hands
of Keeper Conner leaving the Social members down 2 for
5 runs and the new pairing of Pele (Giving up the soft
Air filled Ball for the hard 5½ oz ball and willow)
and Steve the Star at the wicket.
The new pair soon put on a total of 14 before
Pele surrendered hitting his wicket off the bowing of
Woolford after scoring 5 but not showing the footwork
we all know him for.
Safe winter joined The Star
at the crease helping him to the best paring of the
Social member’s innings until he was out for 1 but staying
at the crease for a crucial 5 overs. This left Steve
the Star joined in the middle by the Delhi Demon to
press on despite the pain from his bruised ribs caused
the day before in another game.
Following a Maiden from Andy
Smith and with scent of the Bar B Q wafting over the
field Captain Owen acted decisively and despite calls
from his team to show our friends the Social Members
some mercy he took the ball for the first of his two
overs and bowled another Maiden to keep them on the
ropes. Smith then bowled yet anther maiden keeping up
the pressure. Not be out done by his Vice Captain Owen
took up the ball again and savagely took the wickets
of Steve the Star followed next ball by The Delhi Demon.
New Bowlers came in for spells
with little luck from England
and Rockell and although the run rate was matching that
of the Waltham Club members the Socialites were now
down 6 for just 44 runs on the board
New batsman the Exile and the
Earl of the West End took the score on to 59 and despite
some original fielding techniques by the Club side including
the incredible 6 man to catch 1 skied ball all stopping
2 meters short to watch the ball fall to ground unharmed
before then all standing in a circle to criticize ever
other player for not catching the ball.
Finally it fell to Smith to
up stage his captain with his caught and bowled to dismiss
The Exile for 7.
Ziggy then stepped up to the plate to show
how it should be done, firstly displaying by his juggling
talents when catching out the Earl on the second attempt
and then
coming in to bowl out 3 off 6 balls to clear up the
Social members all out for 83
The Social members played well
on a difficult wicket and slow outfield and if luck
had been a little bit better for them the scores would
have been closer.
The socialites view by Steve Farnon
am not
a religious man but our fairly predictable crappy English climate
had forced me to pray to the almighty for some pleasant
weather for our first game of the season against our
old aversaries WSL and thank-fully my wishes were granted
and battle commenced on Sunday 1st June.
The Earl of West Ends 40th birthday party, Bombay Jock
at Twickers and Fuzz on the lash till the early
hours of Sunday Morning produced some very tired looking
faces at around 12 noon on Sunday and the prospect that
most of us may not be in a fit state to see the ball
gave me hope that we could be on for a very interesting
afternoons leather on willow.
With this in mind we all decided that more alcohol was
required and a picnic lunch to soak up the excess as
we prepared ourselves for the days play.
When the home side arrived they proceeded to roll the
strip with a roller that had an egg cup full of petrol
in the tank and after getting from one end to the other
it died and was abandoned so while we waited for
a kind sole to re-fuel it we continued to drink.
In the meantime I escorted the WSL captain to square
and after some light hearted chit chat about
the physical state of our team I tossed the coin called
heads and won. After a nano second I decided that we
would be better off fielding in the hope that we could
sober up enough so that when it was our turn to bat
we might be able to knock off their run total with consummate
ease.
We took to the field in our new socialites cricket attire
all buzzing with anticipation that we could beat this
lot and so the game began.
First to honor us with their presence was Matt
(Not another single) Connor and Paul (have no money)
Harris and based on previous innings Paul Harris was
the one to watch out for especially against our sub
standard bowling attack. Paul was however the first
to depart on 19 after a corking swing ball from
Swinger had him giving a gentle catch to Dehli Demon.
In trots James (Tenballs) Woolford with a rye smile
and a glint in his eye he certainly had intentions to
cream the ball all over the ground. To our delight and
with some fantastic on a length bowling from Geeze both
Connor and Woolford got caught in our LBW trap, Connor
for 23 (best this season) and Woolford (20).
Now the best part the skipper Dan ( I like to antagonize
my team mates) Owen arrives at the grease with intent
and desire to take advantage of the mediocre bowling
of The Earl of West End and he promptly dispatches him
away for a quick two runs but the next bowl pitches
slightly short and Dan tries hit it? and lucky for us
I was waiting with a tremendous catch at Mid wicket
with the ball coming over my head, your out to.
Some excellent bowling from Fuzz, Exile, Swinger, Dehli
Demon, Earl of West End, and Spooks plus fielding from
Safe Winter and Steve the Star who looked
like 20 year olds on speed we managed to contain WSL
to 60 for 4 after 20 overs, so was it going to be our
day at last.
Unfortunately the thorn in our side was the WSL club
chairman Chris England who decided it was time
to bring Lightning into game and flashing outside the
off stump the ball headed in Lightning's direction like
an express train, bouncing the ball off each breast
into his hands and off his belly the ball landed on
the ground, I didn't see it skip he cried, not to worry
we should get another chance. Chris England and
his batting partner Ziggy then decided it
was time to stop mucking about and they proceeded to clobber
the ball to all parts of the ground and in no time had
added another 57 runs to their total and my well
crafted plan to rotate the bowling was starting to fall
apart.
At 120 for 4 I loaded up the big guns again and Geeze
bowled a blinding half volley to Chris England (42)
which he very kindly hit back down the track at 100mph
straight towards his nether regions and with all the
attributes of a finely tuned athlete the ball stuck
and we had our break through. In the next over Exile
delivered his straightest ball of the innings to dismiss
Ziggy (15) LBW and with their 40 over's nearing
the end Dehli Demon recovered his composure and
knocked over the stumps of batsman 7 and 8 to end the
innings whilst only adding another 10 runs to the score.
A fine display from Bombay Jock behind the stumps mean't
that only 37 extras had to be added to
the WSL total of 131 and so an easily achievable
169 was to be our target. Actually, the socialites
providing approx 28% of the WSL final score.
TEA WAS TAKEN
Normally
sandwiches, tea and cakes are the staple diet
of most cricketers but we decided that the well
presented tea provided by the one and only Colin
Parker and misses looked to good to be true so
we went for the beer and fags option instead and without
paying much attention 3/4 hour had passed and looking
at all the WSL players in position on the field I
choose our opening batsman.
Bombay Jock and the Fuzz were first up the plate and a
well timed shot through the covers for 4 runs from Bombay
Jock gave me hope that we could achieve our goal on
this sunny afternoon but when Fuzz was bowled Harris
for 3 I had a thought that it might be a little
bit more difficult than anticipated.
Safe Winter to the crease and Bombay Jock to the pavilion
caught Connor, bowled Woolford, oh crap, Dehli Demon
next but as the afternoon sun was starting to make everybody
very relaxed Dehli Demon hadn't forgotten to get
padded up, so it was left to me to waddle out to the
wicket.
WSL now seeing red expressed their views that it was
all over and we would be having an early bath but
they hadn't banked on Steve the Star, Safe Winter,
Exile and the Earl of West End adding another 62
runs to the total.
Safe Winter deciding that the best policy was to smack
the hell out the ball and with an almighty thwack the
ball headed north, oh S**t, four WSL players moved into
position, it's mine, no it's mine, I've got it they
all cried but no the ball hit the deck and Safe Winter
was still there. Not for long though, he had to try
it again and this time the ball was sweetly taken by
Ziggy at mid wicket.
Exile next with a broken ankle and not looking to confident
hit a short pitched ball back down the track only to
be taken, he was out caught and bowled so elegantly
by Smith.
Not holding out much hope for us now Earl of West was
next and with pads to big, bat to heavy and eyes like
p*ss holes in the snow we tried get ourselves back into
the game. Now not saying that I am a slow batsman and
now occupying the grease for what seemed like an eternity
I decide that it was time to pick up the run rate, well
that was the last thing I did and trying to hit a straight
delivery out of the ground I missed and was clean bowled
by Ghulam for 33. Oh well, I was knackered anyway and
I needed a pint.
Swinger played and missed, out LBW. Spooks looking to
try out his newly purchased G&M bat played a shot
which I have not seen in any coaching manual and was
caught behind, he was not a happy bunny and Geeze
well I don't think he knew which end of the bat to use,
so it was down to Lightning and the Earl of West End
to finish it off.
Well after an extensive coaching session the previous
Wednesday when he decided to change from batting right
handed to left handed I thought would we have a chance
here as I also thought he had mastered the art of a
forward defensive, well, first ball a slow lob from
Ziggy was promptly bashed for 4 runs through square
leg, Hooray the crowd cheered, making me think
that these two boys could do it, alas the next ball
saw Lightning crashing to the ground with a thud
and the WSL boys thinking oh what the hell should we
do now, his bat nearly piercing his middle and his pads
in tatters he regained his composure hauled himself
into an up-right position and with next ball he
sprinted up the track to repeat the previous shot, oh
crap I've missed, stumped your out.
Ziggy taking the last for wickets (unbelievable) he
earn the WSL man of the match award and well done to
him.
The Earl of West End was the last man standing on 11
runs NOT OUT as WSL celebrated their triumphant
victory and the game was over.
Socialites ending the day 80 all out off 31 overs.
So we all got stuck into the beer and burgers analyized
the days play in detail and finished the day the same
way as we had started, drunk.
END OF DAY |