On a glorious
English summer’s day, with just a hint of rain in the
forecast, WSL Sunday XI did furious battle with the
gallant Wokingham Chestnuts in front of a capacity crowd
at the Bearwood College Oval.
Captain
Burge chose to arrive late to unsettle the opponents
and his clever ploy obviously worked as the Chestnuts
were inserted on a lively pitch with just a suggestion
of ‘morning after hangover green’ about it.
The Chestnut openers strode to the crease
with a aura of confidence surrounding them and an appetite
to hit boundaries. However, if they arrived with a healthy
appetite they left on a diet of Tofu as opening bowler
Naved ‘Huggie Bear’ Raja ripped the head, heart and
lungs from the lifeless corpse of the Chestnut top order.
Stone (1), Mahon (0) and Griffiths (10) perished in
the space of the opening 8 overs.
The Chestnuts
batting lineup was falling from the tree like, well…
Chestnuts. But any respite that they may have felt as
Captain Burge bought on the evergreen Perry was short
lived as he in true Ebenezer Scrooge fashion, was miserly
in giving anything away for free returning figures of
1 for 12 from his 5 overs.
The match
may live on in the memory of all those thousands in
attendance and the millions watching worldwide from
the safety of their sofas for the continuing misadventures
of Ziggy ‘Teflon’ Kiani. But for one lucky young man
making his WSL debut it will be eternally remembered
as “the game with a little bit of everything.”
Frank ‘Small in Stature, Tall in Spirit’ Herbert
was first called into action to take a towering catch
from the bowling of Perry. Onlookers claimed that the
ball defied gravity as it was launched high into the
Ozone only to fall into the soft hands of Herbert at
mid-on. Great success!
Burge then decided to buy some
wickets and bought on the irregular spin of Paul ‘KP
wishes he was me’ Harris (6-22-1) and Ziggy ‘Where is
the pin for this grenade?’ Kiani (4-1-18-2). Runs flew
off the bat as the Chestnuts took a liking to the buffet
that was served up.
Special mention must go now
to WSL all rounder Dan ‘The Mole’ Rockell who was dynamic
in the field, taking two catches and chasing everything…including
thin air as he raced towards the boundary tiring desperately
to gain some attention from any circus owners watching
the match in need of new clowns.
The final
insult came in the shape of Captain Burge who bought
himself on to “bowl.” Rather than allow the Umpire to
over exert himself and get RSI in his shoulders signalling
wides, Chestnut tail ender Johnson in an exemplary display
of sportsmanship chose to commit voluntary euthanasia
and lobbed a chance to Raja ‘The Rock’ who had sprouted
roots in the field.
In the change over, WSL keeper
Matt ‘I’m a Northern boy and I love Gravey’ Connor visualised
Adam Gilchrist’s innings in the World Cup Final and
determinedly strode to the crease…without the squashball
in his glove! He was accompanied by Dan ‘Noodle’ Owen
and they got off to a flier as Connor smited the Chestnut
bowling.
Both Connor and Hamel departed
to unfortunate run outs. Owen, was unlucky to pick out
a fielder off a sumptuous cover drive where Griffith
took a very sharp chance low down to his left.
The stage was set for Herbert and he did not
disappoint! He spanked a Dhoni like swat to the boundary
and pushed a couple of singles to keep WSL up with the
strike rate required.
All that was left was the small
matter of Rockell (19no) and Harris (23no) to polish
off the innings which they duly obliged to give WSL
a commanding and morale boosting victory.
But if you
thought that it was all over then you would be very
wrong. Incensed by defeat, the Chestnuts challenged
the might of WSL to a 20:20 encounter. Same sport, different
match, same result!
Chestnuts batted first again
and faced the combined might of all 10 WSL field players
with leather in hand, including the crippled, special
needs, combine harvester driving James ‘I envy Nathan
being Welsh’ Woolford.
The wickets were shared around
as once again WSL showed fine fettle in the field under
the generalship of Captain Dan ‘Please don’t call me
NOODLE’ Owen. Hamel and Herbert bowled commendable spells
taking key wickets with a mixture of guile and raw aggression.
Although the result was never in question,
star fielder Ziggy ‘Teflon’ Kiani jeopardised his endorsement
package through two dreadful lapses in concentration
to actually hang onto chances off the bowling of Harris.
Once alerted to the problem, Kiani resorted to form
and like a top magician turned ones into twos and chances
of dismissal into dismal daydreams!
Chasing
113 for victory, Kiani decided to immediately test Captain
Burge as a number three as he didn’t bother to trouble
to scorers. Burge, together with Raja proceeded to abuse
the Chestnut bowlers with some brutal boundary hitting
that left Rockell fearful of another fall trying to
keep the scoreboard up-to-date.
Both Burge
and Raja were retired but the onslaught continued with
Perry and a rejuvenated Woolford, who was especially
brutal on some short bowling. Woolford was also retired
to leave Harris and Perry to knock off the final few
runs for a second victory in the day.
With two wins over the Chestnuts
in a day, both WSL and the great game of cricket were
the winners! |